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For patron accounts, I've added one new feature: linkbacks. Any time a Tabulas user posts an entry that links to a particular entry of yours, you'll see it appear in the comment view of a page. This will help you discover who's talking about your entries on Tabulas, and it is a way to encourage you to link to other's posts as well!

I've also started processing Tabulas entries for the "Related" entries feature - for those of you who don't know, this is a magical feature which will try to find "related" entries that you've written. Sometimes it's accurate, sometimes it's not. But it's fun to see what entries will show up :)

Related entries are processed nightly, so you may have to wait a bit to get related entries. All patron account should have had their entries processed, though.

One of the bigger complaints I've gotten about the control panel redesign is the lack of accurate hit logging. To that end, I've added back one of the more popular features for patron accounts: viewing your recent visitor traffic logs.

Because of server limitations, you can only view your last 72 hours worth of data, but the data it provides should give you a better idea of where your traffic is coming from.

Check it out in your control panel.

ryanini

a few minutes away, so i bid 2008 farewell. i would've wanted to write something that packs a whole lot more sense. but with the oh so limited time that we all seem to have, i couldn't. i'll prolly write something more meaningful in a couple of hours. which is like, err, next year? HAHAHAHA.

2008 has truly been a year of firsts. and i'll never forget all the firsts that went by (wanted/expected or not!). but most definitely, i'll never forget the people that i met along the way (and i'm more than excited to write about that in a few). oh and i vow never to leave ryanini behind ever again! a lot of the (unforgettable?) things that happened this year went unwritten. i went off the record on a lot of things this year. i'm not completely sure though if that's a good thing or not.

new year's resolution? spend less. weigh less. laugh more. look better! hahahaha.

2008. frustrating yet UNFORGETTABLE.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

...

 let's do this 2009!!!!

ryanini

today, had lunch in new world with my cousins. ate til our noses bled food. and laughed til our heads got knocked off of our necks. love love love my cousins. then walked around in greenbelt looking for the perfect stuff to drool over for. and boy did we get what we wanted. hahahaha.

and without further adieu, yes, i came out to my cousins. what better way to end the year than with coming clean to the people you're closest to! best line of the year: "there's no easier way to say this so i'm just gonna blurt it out. i'm gay and i'm sort of dating someone." then all i heard were screams inside the car. hahahahaha. then we all started telling our own secret stories! damn! we all haven't been completely honest with each other! but my confession seems to have paved way for a whole new horizon of more exciting stories! and damn, i just love it oh so friggin much! i'm free!!!! well. sort of. hahahaha. i'm soooo excited for 2009!!!! we have sooooo much to confess to each other. hahahahaha.

then met up with jacob to "confess". hahahahaha. and yes, i did change ever so much in a span of seven (or eight?) months. hopefully for the better? hahahaha. nevertheless, i really do feel happier and more liberated now. and yes, we've sanctified greenhills' krispy kreme with our gayness. hahahahaha. and we did see a handful of familiar faces (cute ones at that). a couple of hours later, we decided to walk off the doughnuts we had. oh and yeah, the cute guy from krispy kreme was still there. hahaha. so while walking, we talked about other stuff pa. and damn did we catch up. but like i told him, i don't think my stories can ever outshine his stories. HAHAHAHA. his are just sooo friggin outlandish. i tend to look like a fairly goodie-too-shoes boy. but yeah, you'll get your mojo back soon jacob. 2009 it is! hahaha. and in his words, "talbog silang lahat ng bonggang-bongga." HAHAHAHAHA. but yeah, i love that i have you to tell these stories to! yey. hahahahaha. like i commented, i'll tell you more stories when they happen. or IF they happen. hahahaha. and yes, HAPPINESS REALLY IS A CHOICE! so let's choose it!. hahahaha. i want to say a whole bucket-loads more of stuff. but im afraid i can't. hahahaha. basta alam na natin yun. hahahaha.

damn im so elated. hahaha.

...

oh and last saturday could not have been any more perfect. waited for an hour in music one in greenbelt. but when i turned my back, it was like a page off of a magazine. i know. i think i got flustered for like a couple of minutes before my brain finally recuperated.

heard mass. had dinner. watched a movie. and did a whole lot of restraining myself from looking like a giddy boy. HAHAHAHA. would've taken a picture if i wasn't that conscious. and i did kind of feel a little shy and shitloads of insecurities surfaced. walking along greenbelt with a gorgeous boy could not have made anyone any more insecure. cos you know, people kept staring. but oh fucking well. if all else fails, frienship will work out just as fine. damn. proximity gets you. it friggin' does! but shit man, i just love it oh so much! hay.

i tried not to stare to. but when i looked and he was smiling, i wanted to melt and die. hahahaha.

looking forward to a next time. and yes, i think i just might be a giddy boy. hahahaha.

hindi lahat ng gwapo, may girlfriend. minsan, may boyfriend. *dead* HAHAHAHAHA.

...

ending 2008 with a bang. definitely.

it's a fun world OUT there. HAHAHAHA.

ryanini

it has indeed been a blessed christmas. i can't believe i was able to buy all those wonderful gifts for my family. for once in my life, i can finally say i gave my family stuff they truly wanted. you know, the kind of things you know they've always wanted but never actually bought cos they either thought it was too luxurious or just a waste of money to actually splurge on. so yeah, i practically took the financial fall for all of them. but who thought giving away could be this much fulfilling. okay. this is sounding a little too preachy. hahahaha. but yeah, surprisingly, i was really happy with this christmas. as far as the giving that i did is concerned.

it's a little sad though how i've been a little short on the self-happiness i've been looking for. i mean sure, i've got it going relatively easy on a lot of different aspects. but thing is, some things just don't cut it. i actually hate verbalizing it or putting it down cos it makes me feel all ungrateful about all the other things that've been going great for me. and quite frankly, it's getting a little redundant too. like a year and a quarter redundant. it's unbelievable how i'm in the completely same position as i was a year ago. only that now, i'm a little less insane about the ups and downs. but oh well. it's a decision i've made when i entered the whole cycle again. sometimes, it's actually borderline pathetic already the way i've sort of been throwing myself to the person the past few weeks. hmmmmm. but yeah. i just want to be happy too.

christmas should be happy. emphasize on the word should. doesn't matter what it takes.

and yes. i'm still wishing for you.

...

'Cause you're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in and you're out
You're up and you're down
You're wrong when it's right
It's black and it's white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up

You, you don't really wanna stay, no
You, but you don't really wanna go, oh

ryanini

finally, i got to do my christmas shopping! well, i'm not yet fully done. i still have a few more people to buy gifts for. but at least i've started with it. i'll prolly do the rest tomorrow. and i've to say, i'm really happy with the things i bought. oh and i realized i suck at buying things for other people. well, i've come to realize that since i was in europe. i literally couldn't buy stuff for the people back home. i guess it all comes from me being picky with gifts myself. i really wouldn't want to give a gift that's just for the sake of giving. i'd like the person to like it. so it takes me forever to choose. oh and i'm really excited for the christmas basket us AS people are gonna give out. it's gonna be so cute. hahaha.

so anyway. i woke up this morning feeling like i've been rained on. i guess i still had a hang over from last night's oddity. my eyes were half-open the entire day and the bed kept on pulling me towards it. i had to resist cos it's rare that the family gets together at home on a sunday. so i tried my best not to look dead. after lunch, my sister and her husband had to leave for their friend's wedding. i, on the other hand, took advantage of the spare time and tried to catch up with some sleep. woke up around 4 and realized today was supposed to be my christmas-shopping day. so i left and went to trinoma alone. i know. for the first time, i actually went to do some serious shopping alone! before, i couldn't bring myself to walk around in the mall by myself. but after today, i think there'd be more alone-shopping days. i actually was able to buy more! spent around five hours walking and dragging around paper bags of stuff. i can't believe buying gifts can be this fun. surprisingly, i wasn't able to buy anything for myself! which was really weird. but i did look around for some of my stuff too. only that i couldn't buy them anymore cos i kept on buying stuff for other people and i felt like i had no more money for myself. lol. but yeah, i really had fun. and i prolly looked like some kid let loose in the mall with a credit card. hahahaha. well whatever, i still love my gifts.

retail therapy truly pulls you out of any rut. no matter how weird a previous night has been, a few thousand bucks spent here and there kicks you back to normalcy. well. sort of. haha.

...

this is like my second week of shopping already. last saturday, went out with nescy under the pretense that we'd be buying gifts for other people. but we ended up buying stuff for ourselves lang! hahaha. well the plan was to go bazaar-hopping. two bazaars in mind, night market in greenhills and that christmas bazaar in the trade center somewhere in manila. went to the latter first. on our way there, we realized we didn't know where it was so we ended up going to MOA first. tapos spent an hour walking around but we weren't able to buy anything cos we kept on looking forward to the bazaars. funny story though, we saw this really cute college boy shopping around. tapos  we bumped into him in two other stores. so on the second store, we decided to stalk cutie boy. i know, we're freaky and insane that way sometimes. so we followed him to zara. good thing cos nescy was supposed to buy something there too. at least we wouldn't look that obvious. so guy was paying in the counter and nescy and i were checking out the cardigans. then while he was paying, this girl went up to him and they started talking. i was rummaging through the cardigans and i went like, "oh shit, i think girlfriend niya yun. girlfriend alert!" and when i looked to the girl to my left that i was whispering to, it wasn't nescy!!!! the girl looked completely baffled at my ramblings!! and nescy was a couple of feet away in another direction and she looked puzzled too at why i was talking to a girl!! HAHAHAHAHAHA. i was too embarassed i apologized and ran to the other side of the store!!!! tapos nescy and i just kept on laughing our fucking heads off!! sobrang laugh-trip. then we decided to lay off the stalking. hahahaha.

then we went to the trade center. it was like bargain heaven!! i discovered this kick-ass crinkles and chocolate cake store called hungry pac. it was the best crinkles and chocolate cake i've ever had! so i bought a big one for my family. tapos nescy and i walked around. she ended up buying shitloads. i kept on coaxing her into buying stuff eh. hahahaha. i bought like three shirts lang. i dunno, i guess i was just turned off by the throngs of people in there. but it was a nice bazaar. and i ran into randy too. long time no nothing. so around 11, we left and decided we wanted to be seen. so we went to blue wave and tried our luck there, only to realize there aren't that much nice people there. so we left for greenhills. we each had a doughnut in krispy kreme to cap the night off. then we decided to call it a night.

sunday was unusually fun. we had relatives over from london. they were actually the family i was supposed to visit when i was there but i never got to actually meeting them cos my schedule was just insane. i didn't even have the time to fit into our itinerary. much less schedule a side trip to them. so anyway, we spent the entire morning prepping up for dinner (as usual) and around 4, they got here. and when i saw them, damn, my cousin looks like a dirtied up european version of josh hartnett!!!! messier version but a josh hartnett nonetheless!!! his brother looked okay. it was so funny cos i looked like a hobbit beside them!! lol. but it's great to know i have a hot cousin in europe i can visit! definitely looking forward to going back there. hahahaha.

...

thursday and friday were party days. thursday, went out with someone to saguijo bar. it was such a kick-ass place! they play great music and for a place hidden away in the freaky part of makati, the people were surprisingly okay. i mean, they weren't the freaky bunch. i'd definitely go back to the place. oh and something got stolen. i wasn't ready. then friday, treasury had its christmas party. i got wasted again. although not as badly as i was back in the teambuilding. i think pancho's goal is to get me soaked in alcohol and they'd watch and laugh at me as i make a fool of myself doing stupid things. hahahaha. we had it in one of serendra's function rooms. oh and BR won the best presentation! how can you not win when you have me as the star of the presentation?? HAHAHAHA. shit man, i think i just outted myself loud and proud with that presentation. *kadiri ka* HAHAHAHA. oh fucking well. who gives a shit anyway? so as usual, mishy and i did stupid dance moves again. but we're cool that way. hahahaha. after around 7 shots of tequila, i was in alcohol heaven already. i kept on going all english-accent on people already!!! it was funny as hell cos they kept on humoring me and going english accent as well. tapos we moved the party to our condo in the fort. then while we were waiting for the car on our way to our condo, jess went with me to buy a cupcake from sonja's. tapos shit, i distinctly remember doing an english accent with the girl in the counter. and she looked all pissed and annoyed at me!!!! HAHAHAHAHA. then then, we got to our condo na. there were seven of us na lang. desh, carlo, jess, jaypee, jerwin and ate micah plus myself. tapos damn, we got even more basag! had another bottle of tequila rose and tanduay. who the fuck thought of drinking tanduay?! well, i didn't drink that anymore. it was too strong already. and damn, i was just soooo wasted. so wasted in fact, a had a couple more burgers!!!! sobrang gago promise. tapos around 2, jerwin and ate micah left already. tapos us people left just dance an hour more. tapos we all dropped dead on the bed. good thing no one barfed! cos i wouldn't have had the energy to clean it.

the next day, we went badminton-ing pa! hahahaha. good thing we didn't have massive headache from all the alcohol we drowned ourselves in the previous night. i think my body's becoming more alcohol tolerant. although i've been getting easily wasted the past couple of inuman sessions. weird weird. maybe i haven't been having that much talaga before which is why i never got basag. hmmm. oh well.

...

i can't believe there's only four days to go til christmas! and i can't believe i'm ending this year on a sour note. this year was just odd. it had its extreme ups and downs. i'll definitely do better next year. hay hay. oh well.

Hey everybody,

I've put the finishing touches on an update to the gallery in your control panel - I always felt the new gallery was more confusing than the old one.

This new one should be a lot simpler to use - and it will allow you to manage your images more efficiently (without having to edit each image individually!)

Please let me know if there are any problems.

I hope all of you are having a fantastic holidays.

- Roy

It's Christmas.

The weather's slowly turned chilly; you see more and more people out with their jackets, and there's a crispness in the air, like the slow, silent crumbling of Graham crackers, or the slow popping of popcorn in the microwave. But you can't hear it.

Out there, in the street, there's gaiety and fanfare, without really being fanfare because fanfare is always planned. The kid carolers, knocking on your door and throwing rocks when you act the scrooge. Bright lights, big city lights, all throughout the avenues, and you know that just down the street from the church you can pick up a steaming bibingka or puto bumbong with niyog and luscious butter.

In the pulpit, the priests are getting ready, celebrating the reason for the season and telling us that the son of God is at hand. On the other hand, stores have advertisements and hawkers telling everybody that Christmas means a variety of sales from both retail and wholesale just so you can make your loved ones smile maybe just a little bit more.

In the television, even the Catholic channels have advertisements.

If there were snow here, you'd see more couples walking slowly, arm-in-arm, enjoying the added proximity given by the need of warmth. It's a good thing it seldom rains in Christmas, at least here.

Funny isn't it? How in the midst of all this cheer, all it takes is a moment to stop and think, and to look inside of yourself and the realization that while you're happy, there's no avoiding that gaping hole of something that sits on your chest, keeping you from really saying that hey, it's the holiday.

It's the holiday.

That doesn't mean you're not happy. Happiness is multi-layered and while it takes a little bit of effort to expose the innermost bulb, it doesn't take much to get the tears flowing.

Tears fall to the ground at the rate of at least ten centimetres per second. Dusk comes in at approximately thirty minutes earlier at eight hours on the GMT. It takes a second for an instant message from across the globe to reach my computer. And yet, time marches on slowly.

In a couple of weeks, Christmas is over. In a few minutes, your bank account is a couple hundred pesos poorer. In a second, a tequila shot is gone, and after a five-second period of time when you slice a block of cheese, you have just taken away approximately 1% of the entire cheese.

1% in 5 seconds.

200 in 5 minutes.

2009 in 11 days.

And what changes?

Again this year, the days leading up to the holidays I greet with a stiff glass of Jim Beam and a poker face. I don't know how you celebrate your holidays folks, but Merry Christmas, for your sakes.